Home is where the hope is.

I believe there is something inside of all human beings, an inherent desire, to be fulfilled. For me, often a large part of feeling fulfilled results from what I see as my performance. The problem is that for many, myself included, even in working to attain those things we desire, we are seldom satisfied. We seldom feel fulfilled. It would seem that the presence of this desire to be fulfilled points to the fact that there is a source of fulfillment somewhere. Yet as a Christian, I am learning that lasting fulfillment is not the result of my perfect performance but perfect surrender to the one God who is, in his very definition, fulfillment. I am learning to truly believe the verse that reminds us "the fullness of joy" may only be found IN God.

Christianity is unique in that it positions contentment, joy, and fulfillment not as qualities to strive for, but as gifts to be received if we find ourselves located in the right place, that is, located in God. We don't really have a right to get angry at God if we miss these gifts because we have removed ourselves from the proper place. Nor does it profit us to be angry at ourselves when we "miss our package" because we aren't home at the designated time. Rather, we need to make sure that we return and STAY in the place we need to be so that we can receive the gifts we're entitled to as children of the King, and joint-heirs with Christ.

These videos impacted me, because they all...though in admittedly cheesy ways... depict people "returning home" and in the process, finding that joy, hope, and fulfillment they've been struggling to find:

1) "Pass Me Not"- Fantasia singing...






This song gets me sometimes because it articulates the desperation we feel in finally coming to God. It's like we're saying "Ok God, I came. I'm here. Now I need you to remember your promise and hear me when I'm calling... and ultimately he Always does. Always.

2) "Father Can You Hear Me?" from Tyler Perry's "Diary of a Mad Black Woman"

Watch Video on Youtube: HERE

What I love about this scene (even though I've never seen the movie...shhhh...don't tell it) is that the song starts of with people questioning whether God really hears us, and ends in surrender. At the end of it all, "We will say YES"

3) "Now Behold the Lamb" from the movie " The Gospel"




No matter who we are, where we are, or what we've done, because God loves us with a greater and deeper love than any parent has ever exhibited for any child, anyone and everyone can choose to come back to the place of forgiveness and grace, of hope and joy and of fulfillment. His offer to return to the home he has provided within himself is available to all.


Honestly, I really can't even express with words how much it means that my happiness doesn't come from my ability to make myself smile. My strength doesn't come from my own wherewithal...if it did, as soon as i got tired or as soon as something went wrong, as soon as i failed, i would feel unhappy, depressed, upset, and weak. Thank God my fulfillment is not only his responsibility, but his promise. For as long as I have a God to come home to, I have fulfillment... this guarantee is my hope.


Deuces...IN Him

Cruisin the blogs

So last year I started casually reading blogs. Now I follow like 10 of them on the regular!!! I decided to dedicate this entry to the things i learned just today on a few of the blogs i read:
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One of my favorite blogs is Gospel Pundit cuz they update constantly with the breaking news in the gospel music industry and let u listen to some stuff from up-and-coming artists and new releases from the greats. Today for the first time, I sampled a song called "God is good" (i know....cliché...but still true)...which i thought was pretty catchy, from this Detroit artist, Lisa Page Brooks. I also found some new stuff from J-Moss (a fave) and James Murphy:

You can listen to "God is good" and the other music I sampled HERE

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I also follow my friend Dan Shin's blog (or online magazine rather) and learned once again that Korea has the upper hand on the U.S. Just look at their McDonalds-

Ridiculosity of a tall cheeseburger:



Clean recycling that doesn't exist in any of the McDonalds I've ever visited...RECYCLING???...Yup:


A magical service to bring McDonalds right to your front door:



Dan you win, Korea IS better...
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So i was reading an entry on a blog called Something Within (it's written by this Black lady and i love it cuz she talks about race stuff, politics, and Christianity...my passions) and i scrolled down and found this picture:

I don't know why this picture was so hilarious to me....maybe it's because of the yellow floral vest and pepto-bismol-pink flooding pants....maybe it's that I was wondering exactly how up far her socks can possibly go.....or maybe it's cuz she has a huge cigar haggin out her mouth and she's like 100 years old....for whatever the reason though, i felt the need to share this with you, lol.

Deuces...In Him

All my guys :)

So i woke up this morning thinking about, well no, rewind, i woke up this morning, hollered at Jesus for a minute, and then thought about all the guys I've been blessed to meet in college. It's not such a random thought, cuz one of my friends from high school is gettin married today and the plan is to go to the wedding...that is if i can finish this entry pretty quickly...

I was just thinking, if u combined the good parts of all my male friends...that would be one amazing guy. I decided to do a quick run through of the males I've become friends with (slash a couple of whom i've fallen for...and then picked myself up from, lol) in the last three years of school and summer :

Marcus: Black...well, mixed. Extremely passionate about God, great listener and problem solver. Easy to connect with.

George: Black. Really nice, honest, caring, loves God, great artist = very creative.

Jerred: White. Crazy. Genuine. Will definitely make females feel special. Loves God more than anything. Also a Pastor's Kid. Loves music/ gives great serenades. Easy to talk to. Trustworthy. Loves kids. Asked me to marry him if we're still single by age 37...then dropped it to 30...silly Jerred.

Miles: Black. Can do the impossible! Determined, tenacious, ambitious, great listener when he's around, a natural leader. Likes to shop almost as much as I do. Polite and chilvarous. Probably the person I identify most with and understand the best.

Adrian: Black. Hidden gem. Very creative and smart. Probably the funniest guy I've ever met. Shares my love of music/singing and connects with gospel music. Laid back yet engaging. Loves God. Really loves his family. Tells stories very well. Generally interests me.

Kellyn: Black. Incredibly gifted and intelligent. Shows acute interest in who/what he wants. Uses action to support words = not just talk. Easy to connect and spend time with. Articulate. Shares political/race consciousness. Can talk to him all night long...and have...twice.

Sherrick: Black. Athletic by nature and profession. Thoughtful, funny, entertaining. Enjoys music/ understands gospel and gospel rap, and really lives for God. Tells you exactly what he thinks. Generally motivated and passionate.

Now all of these guys, just like all people have drawbacks too...and some of them are pretty serious, but overall, I've been blessed to know a great group of males.

What occured to me though...well actually 2 things stood out to me:

#1) All these guys but one self-identify as Black. Though I have female friends of all races, and even share a pretty divese inner circle as far as females go, my close male friends are overwhelmingly Black....but then I've always really valued Black males. This list sort of made me question exactly why though. Not that it's bad to share a high appreciation for Black males, especially when most of society doesn't... but what is it specifically that makes them seem soooo special to me? I don't know how to pinpoint an answer to that question...

and #2) I guess I have really high standards...I want it all. The perfect guy is the combination of all the people I've mentioned above. Even if i don't necessarily find all of these guys attractive or want to be with them in life, these qualities, and especially the love for God and the sincere desire to live for him and connection to him through music IS Attractive to me.

What I'm realizing though, is just like I know all these great guys, when the time is right, God will let the guy who is the intersection of all these things find me...and hopefully, by that time, I'll be the embodiment of those values that matter most to him as well. Not that I'm expecting the "perfect man" by society's standards, or that I expect to be "perfect" for him by those standards...but I believe it's right for me to expect the person that is perfect For me...flaws and all...cuz I certainly have lots of them myself.

I'm learning to embrace the mantra "good things come to those who wait"...I hope mystery person is "waiting" for his good thing...cuz im waiting for mine :)


Deuces...In Him