Randomized thought spewing

So honestly there is no real point to this post other than I really feel like writing and have sort of been having a lot of random thoughts today/ lately. I should probably start off by saying that just like my previous post wasn't really boy-friendly, this probably isn't gonna be too non-Christian friendly/ it probably isn't that relevant to anybody outside of my head. No cool videos or movies or stories. This post is for me....so don't feel obligated to read it cuz all imma do is jump around a lot just like when im thinkin...unless ur just nosy....or interested in my randomness...or bored...

**Summer has helped me realize that last school year contained very little alone time/ pretty much no time for me to just sit and think. I've discovered that i have kinda a weird/unique personality type in that i love to be around people and especially friends but am incredibly introverted at the same time. Introverted not in the sense of being shy, cuz im definitely not shy...i can be pretty crazy, but i need space and time to myself not to go crazy for real. Some people are externally motivated and others internally. I need "me time" to really remember who "me" is and be effective in life. So while i feel like is summer is kinda a big fail in terms of being productive (i.e. holding down a job) its been good in helping me re-establish a routine that includes taking time to pray/think/reflect/meditate on the Word and even write a bit.

**More and more I understand how you really do become like the things you surround yourself with. If the things I watch or listen to, if the people i surround myself with, if my aspirations and dreams and thought are not positive, or do not create a positive atmosphere, it is unrealistic to expect positivity as a result. On the other hand, "if I surround myself with positive things, i'll gain prosperity" courtesy of Destiny's Child who clearly took the idea from the Bible (think Philippians 4: 8) If i want happiness, peace, joy, fulfillment etc, the people and things i surround myself with need to be about those things...

** Im finding it more and more annoying:

- #1 that people think its ok to be Sunday morning Christians...like i said on fb, a Sunday morning religion is more of a hobby than it is anything else. When we give God our lives do we say "ok God imma give you one day a week and do what i do all the other days" or is that something that develops as we try to walk double lives? I realize this might sound harsh...or judgemental or something...and it is...but realize im talking to everybody... myself included...the concept is just dumb....point blank period. Let's either be completely sold out, or pretend to own our own lives. To do both, that is, to kinda own our own lives but sell ourselves out every once in a while sounds like whore-ness to me...like "ok God, how much will u give me if I give you 24 hours...or more like 12 hours of my time?"...disrespectful.

- #2 that some people walk away from church because all they hear is "do better" or "be better" without much of an explanation as to what that means...and the cause of that:

- #3 that some churches seemingly really do expect people to be great all by themselves or at least with their own effort under the guise of accepting God's help...this completely ignores the concept of your job being to "let go and let God" do his thing in ur life...the more u let go, the more he works... the "better" u become. Ignoring the whole God thing is kinda nonsense...especially for a church...folks be so motivated to work on themselves, making resolutions, promisin they gonna stop this, that and the other, and their hearts are really in the right place. I know for me at least, i can probably count a dozen times when i've said "ok Ary, here's how the rest of ur life is gonna be: you're gonna be better. Stop doin foolishness and be great." Like me sayin it for the 12th or 13th time is gonna have a different result from any of the other times. My resolutions are based upon my plans and my willpower...and for as strong-willed i am, and as determined as i can be, eventually im gonna give up, im gonna fail, im gonna sin... cuz im human...and i'm relying on me and not on Him. My life just flows so much better when it is centered in an everflowing lifesource outside of myself. Joining with God means he handles business with me, and in my case, often, for me. I like that in this relationship giving up means winning and not losing.

** Music is that THING!!! The more time i spend on this earth, the deeper in love i fall with music. Especially gospel because it often expresses the exact sentiment i want to say to God or to encourage myself. From reminding myself that "Praise is What i Do" to just saying "Thank you Jesus" or proclaiming that is gonna be " A lovely Day" or crying "I Need You Now", music helps me connect with my own thoughts and with God in a way that nothing else seems to do. Thank you Lord for music.

** I know that fear doesn't make sense and is really just a waste of energy, but i am a little...nervous about the future. I mean im really excited too, not knowing exactly what life is gonna bring me...knowing that the good will outweigh the bad, yet not being able to see a second in front of me, let alone a year or the next couple years. As a rule i don't tend to like uncertainty because I pretty much like to know everything...always...always.

**Speaking of the unseen, I need more faith in my life = i need more Word in my life = i need more God in my life...yeah God, i'd like more of u please :-)

** Oh relationships...

** I really like babies...and kids...and pretty much people of all ages. I can't wait to be a mom. I mean i have to wait. I'm not exactly ready...cuz im not married and stuff. Nonetheless, babies are God's gift...and i love presents.

So what have we learned???... That apparently some of these posts will contain no actual lesson and will instead be a collection of random thoughts from Ary's head. Ary decided she likes sharing random thoughts...and talking in the third person...ok im gettin tired, so:

Deuces...In Him